As I have prepared to leave to move to Rwanda, I have come across some attempts of satan to stop what God has put into motion. The most recent attempt was a car accident that could have resulted in a far worse fate than a few bruises and a sore shoulder.
As I have left my house to reside with others during this time of transition, I was at a friend's house to house sit while they were out of the country. And because I have gotten rid of my car months ago, I have been borrowing from the church and other friends. This particular evening, I was borrowing the mini-van of my friends who were out of the country.
I was coming home from umpiring the state softball tournament and started noticing signs for construction giving instructions to merge...and then "Merge Now State Law". I glanced over my shoulder and moved into the next lane over in front of a black Alero. I know it was an Alero because my mom used to have the same car, but in silver. I realized that the Alero was exchanging lanes with me, which surprised me because we were supposed to be moving away from that lane. The next thing I knew, my glasses have been thrown from my face and I see powder flying around my head. I had been hit from behind so hard that it smashed me into the little Honda in front of me.
I pulled the van over into the far left shoulder and started looking for my glasses, which were a necessity. Remember, I had been umpiring, so my ball cap had been thrown from my head as well. As disoriented as I was, I definitely didn't want my hat hair to be seen by others. I got out of the van to access the damage. The front and back had been destroyed. What was I going to do? My friends were out of the country, returning within the next couple of days and now their van was completely totaled.
I wanted to call my umpiring friend who was only a couple miles behind me and couldn't find my phone. Only a few minutes before the wreck, I had been on the phone with my sister and remembered that I had put it in my lap. The impact had thrown my phone into the floor near the gas pedal. I grabbed my phone and uttered, "I've been in a wreck. I don't know where I am. Can you come get me?". He asked what highway I was on and what exit I was near. I squinted my eyes to see the next exit sign and said, "Southeast 15th, just look for the wreck. You will see it."
The next few minutes are a bit of a blur as I called my sister, the cops had arrived and I looked over the damage of the van. The cops stopped traffic while I moved the van to the other side of the road with the other vehicles. Shortly after I moved it, my umpire friend walked up. I fell into his shoulder in shock. The guy who had hit me, about 18 years old, sat on the side of the road bleeding from the nose. I remember looking at the trail of blood running down the front of his shirt to his shorts. With a bloody nose and mouth, he looked up at me and said, "Are you the one that I hit?". I know I was in shock because I just looked over at him with no emotion and nodded my head a little. He said, "I am so sorry. I am so sorry." I looked at my friend and looked back at the boy and just nodded my head again.
I feel bad about that. I wish I would've had the sense to walk over and talk with him to see if he was alright. I was not sure which way was up much less having the compassion to reach out to this lonely boy as he sat bleeding.
"Do you need to go to the emergency room?" a police officer asked me. "No, I'm fine." Are they kidding?! I'm not going to pay for an ambulance to take me to the emergency room so I can pay four or five times what I would at a regular doctor's office. I was appalled.
Again, lapse in time, but we cleaned the stuff out of the van and into my umpiring friend's vehicle. We got my insurance and license back and off we went. I don't know exactly how long the whole process took, but it didn't seem long. The van was up on the wrecker and whisked away before I even realized.
Fast forward 2 days. First day to drive since the accident. I couldn't help but drive looking constantly in the rearview mirror. On the way home from work, I felt my self tense every time I would see a large pick up in my rearview mirror approaching. I felt a life application coming on. I remember a lesson from the days of youth group about living your life looking through your rearview mirror instead of focusing on the large window in front of you. What can I take from this besides sore ribs and a 3 day headache?
Let it go. In the Lion King, Rafiki hits Simba over the head with a stick. Simba rubs his head and responds, "What was that for?". "It doesn't matter, it's in the past." Simba, still rubbing his head says, "Yea, but it still hurts." In all his wisdom, Rafiki responds, "Ahh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." Rafiki swings his stick at Simba, but this time Simba ducks and the monkey's stick misses his head.
This is one of those moments that I can either run from or learn from.
satan has put a hit out on me. he does not want me going to Rwanda to do the work of my Lord and he is going to do anything he can to stop it. But God in His infinite wisdom put a hedge of protection around me. Maybe I shouldn't have walked away from that accident. I know I could've had more severe injuries. But I didn't. The van is totaled, there is nothing I can do about that. But I can praise God in this storm. "And I'll praise You in this storm/And I will lift my hands/For You are who You are/No matter where I am/And every tear I've cried/You hold in Your hand/You never left my side/And though my heart is torn/I will praise You in this storm" (Casting Crowns).
Selah
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